An Apple a Day - Women's T-Shirt Size:2XL A cartoon illustration of John

A cartoon illustration of John Matrix in a white tank top carries a brown log over one shoulder

and rooftops against a light blue sky with white clouds

Caulking guns angled like that are doing more legal work than most defense attorneys

White block text at the bottom reads "$2

Calumet's Aristocrats took the field in 1905

An Apple a Day - Women's T-Shirt Size:2XL A cartoon illustration of JohnApples went from health advice to self defense the moment someone realized a Honeycrisp at 60 mph solves most interpersonal conflicts. Doctors hate this one weird trick, but not as much as the guy standing 30 feet away. The Details: Large red chunky text reads "An apple a day keeps anyone away." at the top. Smaller green italic text in parentheses reads "(If you throw it hard enough.)" beside a green woodcut style illustration of a smiling farmer in a